Keeping the Relationship Strong When Baby Comes Along: A Toolkit for Healthy Partnership and Connection
Home visitors support families during one of the most challenging moments in marriage and relationships — right after the arrival of a baby. It’s important for couples with young children to maintain strong and thriving relationships during this period of change.
In January 2025, LA Best Babies Network (LABBN) hosted trainings for staff in our network’s home visiting organizations and Welcome Baby hospitals. The Couples Institute, an organization that provides relationship counseling, therapy, and trainings. (Scroll down to watch a recording of the online workshop they conducted for our network.)
Titled “Keeping the Relationship Strong When Baby Comes Along: A Toolkit for Healthy Partnership and Connection,” the presentation included multiple therapists and counselors (see their bios here). They covered these topics (links to sections in the video recording are included in the summary below):
- Developmental Stages of Relationships and Why They Matter
- Ways to Manage Emotional Triggers
- Principles in Managing Conflict
- Boundary Setting Techniques in the Context of Family Structure
- How to Identify and Use Negotiation Skills During Conflict
The workshop started with an introduction to the “Developmental Stages of Relationships and Why They Matter” by Dr. Ellyn Bader, a psychotherapist and co-founder of the Couples Institute. The stages are bonding, differentiation, exploration, reconnecting, and synergy.
Lori J. Collins shared her strategies for “Keeping Your Marriage Strong When the Kids Come Along: 3 Keys for Creating a Lasting Date State.” This approach includes carving out couple time, keeping a positive attitude, and focusing on big-picture energy. Lori included this workbook that complements her segment.
The next part of the training focused on emotional regulation. Kelly Scharver, who specializes in developmental model couples counseling, led this segment on “The Power of Positive Strokes,” with a breakout role-play on The It Game for Couples (pg. 49). Kelly also shared her strategies to help manage emotional triggers, including self-soothing, calming, and resetting techniques.
Lara Hammock, a mental health therapist, held a Q&A and breakout on “Keeping the Door Open: Healthy Behavior in Conflict.” She shared the behaviors couples should avoid while talking through conflict. Namely, don’t JAB (Judge, Argue, Blame). She also suggested two tools for healthy conflict: Ask to take turns speaking and listening, and take responsible time-outs.
Cathy Carr discussed the inevitable changes that a new baby brings in her presentation “New Babies, New Boundaries: Navigating Family Dynamics to Increase Connection and Decrease Distance.” She provided a handout for families to use about common boundary dilemmas to explore (pgs. 20-21). Cathy then led a breakout role-play where attendees took turns acting as a home visitor and a client struggling to ask for what they want.
The training ended with “The No-Tension Tool to Talk About Your Toughest Topics” by Dr. Peter Pearson, co-founder of The Couples Institute. Two attendees role-played as a fighting couple while Dr. Pearson guided them through effective communication and provided feedback.
Watch the full recording here, and don’t miss the links to related resources below:
Related resources:
- Presentation slides and handouts
- Keeping Your Marriage Strong When the Kids Come Along: 3 Keys for Creating a Lasting Date State (Workbook)
- Building Couple Time (Online Marriage Advice and Relationship Tips for Moms and Couples with Young Kids)
- Hand in Hand Parenting
- The Tapping Solution (EFT): Who Would You Be Without the Stress?
- 2025 17th Annual Tapping World Summit
- Peace begins with me
- Jessica’s “Daily Affirmation”
- Teaching a 4-year-old the importance of affirmations